Skip to main content

office sitting

The girls and I are back at the office for a few days and nights. We may be here until we go back to Xi'an. Depends on when my folks return...no need for us all to share a room again when we could be at Dave's house. Dad and Mom are back in Wuhan waiting for their visas to be renewed.

So hard sharing a room with Madeleine and Lilian. One or the other is doable but last night I had one girl on either side of the bed - not in the bed but Maddie was on a pallet and Lilian in her portable cradle. Everything went okay until about 5am when Lilian let out a sharp cry waking both Maddie and me. Maddie started crying and so was Lilian and it took all I had not to join in with them. But we all settled down and got another hour and half sleep before the day officially began.

Phil's out of town again. 5 nights this time. The days I can handle fine but the evenings are a pain when we're here at the office. It's a vicious cycle if and when one of them starts crying. There are often others here and so taking Lilian out of the room is tough. It's usually noisy, bright and busy in the main room so that's no good for settling a kid. Plus, I usually have 2 or 3 overally helpful people asking questions or giving advice concerning why Lilian is crying (this does not refer to you, Dad and Mom) when volunteers are here. This is annoying to no end. And an annoyed mom is no good for settling a kid, either.

So, thankfully this week is a low-key one here at the office and for the first half we'll have it mainly to ourselves. After that we'll just have to deal with it for a few more days until we get home.

At times I feel like a big fat wimp. I'm really just being a stay-at-home mom with a husband that travels. There are lots of woman who do that. But when you throw in the living arrangements we have now...well, then I feel better and less of a wimp. But I think the biggest struggle I've had during this month is fighting the idea and feeling that I'm a loser as a mom and wife. I'm not one to share such personal details on such an impersonal form of communication so I'll just leave it at that.

When I do become a full-time stay at homer I know I need several things: an elevator - Dave's apartment is on the 5th floor with no elevator, absolutely crazy with 2 kids and all their junk. A routine - we need play groups and kindergarten and swimming lessons and NAPS to keep us all entertained. We need friends. Right now Madeleine has no one to play with and I have no Mom to just sit with while the kids destroy their room.

I honestly don't know how a single mom with a kid or two does it day in and day out. In the past I worked with single moms and several of them had 2 or 3 kids. I now totally respect those woman and I totally understand why their kids ran around like zoo animals yelling the F* word. Oh, and that whole, "Don't let the TV be a babysitter" thing is beyond ridiculous. If you have a TV and you have a kid...you've done it.

Okay. I feel better.

Popular posts from this blog

facebook killed the blogger

Well, it's that time again.  The time when I remember that I have a blog and think about writing something. With coffee in hand, I've sat down in front of this screen and, I'm not joking, within seconds Abe is crying in his room.  Fortunately, for me, I can ignore him. We have a mountain behind our apartment.  It's literally behind our apartment.  I walk out the back gate, up a short road and BOOM, there's the mountain.  I like our apartment but I sometimes think about all the other apartment complexes that seem better.  Some are closer to the girl's school. Some have lots of other expat kids that the girls could be out playing with.  But none of them have their very own mountain.  And so, even with the things I'd like to change about this complex, I'm praying we can live here for a long time.  Phil tires to climb the mountain everyday.  I was inspired and I try to climb it every other day - I don't want to get too buff.  I never...

sun shiny days

This past Friday, 6 days after arriving home from Thailand, we finally had a sunny day.  Thank goodness because otherwise I was about to pack up the family and head south.  It is amazing how sunshine can affect our moods. Lilian is 8 months old.  She was extremely busy in Thailand.  She began crawling the day after we arrived.  Within just a couple days of her crawling her first pearly white started poking through. Then 2 days later another started pushing through.  Her hair had a growth spurt and it all grew straight up.  Her funky hair was the delight of many. Madeleine has said a couple really fun things lately.  1 - "Why does Lilian have that on her forehead?" (a red, speckled birthmark in the middle of her forehead)  "Did she fall out of you?" --2 - " Shhhh , I hear snowing, I think" (said on a particularly cold evening while playing outside). Getting back home after vacation seems to be difficult no matter who you are or where you live. I don't ...

happy birthday

Today I am 29 years old. I don't mind being a 29 year old. It has it's advantages, I'm sure. It's only 7:33am so I don't really know how my actual birthday is going to be but yesterday was great. After a meeting here at home with the other Seminary English teachers, Phil told me that Terri (coworker) wanted to see me the office. I knew something was up and when I walked into the office everyone was standing there, Terri was holding a cake with candles, and they all started singing "Happy Birthday". I wasn't surprised that they did something but I was surprised to have everyone there at that moment singing to me. I'm enjoying a piece of the spice cake right now with coffee. They also made me a really sweet card that was very encouraging. Terri and Buddy(dog) came over around 5pm last evening so that Phil and I could go out. I knew we were going to a restaurant and I knew we should dress a little nice. We both looked nice but we couldn't...