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turning 32 and other old things

I do not think being 32 years old is old but since October 11th, I have had problems with my eyesight, fallen off a stool and hurt that area of your body that has lots of extra cushion and that you use every day to sit on, and gotten a really bad cold that I just can't shake. So it does seem like all of a sudden my body is realizing it's been around for 32 years +.

Mom has been here for the past few days which is a HUGE blessing because I've been sick and Phil is out of town. He and Dad went on a trip together. Mom does the dishes, makes potato soup, reads tons and tons of books to the girls, takes them outside and makes sure I'm resting. Pretty much a perfect mom.

Phil and I reading a book called, "How to Really Love Your Child". It's good. I recommend it, even if you think you already are really loving your child. It doesn't make me feel like a bad, unloving parent, it just helps me(us) learn ways to show the girls that we love them unconditionally which is actually really not so easy.

I read some of my friends' blogs this morning (hence my posting now) and it was so nice to read so many moms adoring their children. One mom talked about how sweet her kids where one morning and I thought, "That's unconditional love. You woke me up early with a dirty diaper and spit-up but I still find you and your big sister so delightful because you are mine and you both smiled at me."

Speaking of loving our kids...Lily has been crying to get up since I started writing. I'm coming, Lilian!

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I am so glad that I'm saved. I love having a Savior that gets me. A Savior that holds me and carries me and walks with me and cheers for me. A Savior that doesn't care that I'm weak and tired and so inclined to doubt but instead he gets excited in my weakness because then he can be best understood. I also love that he doesn't want me to be weak. So he gives me strength. I remember the first time Phil told me that he loved me. I felt shocked and astounded. That this guy that I thought was so awesome, loved me. And he told me! He didn't have to. He just couldn't help it. He loved me so much that he just had to let me know. And then there's my Savior. Jesus. He loves me. He loves me so much that he just had to tell me. He didn't have to love me but he does and he told me. He told me this morning, too. He keeps telling me over and over how much he loves me. Jesus loves me. I'm astounded.