I've struggled in this current move more than I anticipated. It's so different having a baby with us. I knew in my mind that it would be harder but there was no way to know exactly what that would mean. I've been reading other people's thoughts and thought it might help me to share my own.
I'd like to use this space to share good and bad stuff. All just put out there to be processed by myself and others. Mainly myself.
Today started off rough. I was excited to take Maddie to feed the fish that live in a man-made stream in the complex. We left with Phil as he headed to the office and we had our bag of bread. There were 3 other Chinese ladies and 2 kids already at the stream feeding fish. How nice I thought. Right away I regreted being there. All 3 ladies couldn't stop talking about how poorly Maddie was dressed. She had on a t-shirt and pants. I had actually forgotten about socks but it was a nice morning so no big deal. I don't know what they kept saying about the grass and Maddie standing in it but they went on and on. I mean they were all sitting on it! I can understand if it was wet (pee?) or cold but it wasn't.
I finally just left. I was tired of the scolding and just wanted to be alone. So that started off the morning. I'm trying to get thicker skin. I can already imagine that this will be a long struggle. I already worry about how to dress Maddie because it's either dress her how I want and put up with the comments or dress her warmer than I think is necessary and have peace.
The rest of the day has been better. I've spent more time playing with Maddie. She's very fussy today and so I thought it might help if we spent more time together. I think it has. The toughest days are when she keeps fussing and I can't figure out how to help her. Is she hungry? No, won't eat. Is she thirsty? Maybe but keeps fussing. Does she just want to be held? But how do I get other stuff done?
I had to smack her hand today because she kept playing with a lamp cord. Phil and I had originally said we wouldn't hit to punish. But now we can't see any other way to get her to stop doing something that could really hurt her ( like biting through an electric cord). So I had to smack her little hand today. She waved her hands like she wanted to smack me back. Was that for real? Could she already comprehend hitting to stop something? So that made me feel bad.
We're going to Terri's house for supper tonight. I'm looking forward to the change of pace. Mandy (former student who know goes to college here) is coming over tomorrow afternoon and staying for supper. That should be fun.
Enough for now.
I'd like to use this space to share good and bad stuff. All just put out there to be processed by myself and others. Mainly myself.
Today started off rough. I was excited to take Maddie to feed the fish that live in a man-made stream in the complex. We left with Phil as he headed to the office and we had our bag of bread. There were 3 other Chinese ladies and 2 kids already at the stream feeding fish. How nice I thought. Right away I regreted being there. All 3 ladies couldn't stop talking about how poorly Maddie was dressed. She had on a t-shirt and pants. I had actually forgotten about socks but it was a nice morning so no big deal. I don't know what they kept saying about the grass and Maddie standing in it but they went on and on. I mean they were all sitting on it! I can understand if it was wet (pee?) or cold but it wasn't.
I finally just left. I was tired of the scolding and just wanted to be alone. So that started off the morning. I'm trying to get thicker skin. I can already imagine that this will be a long struggle. I already worry about how to dress Maddie because it's either dress her how I want and put up with the comments or dress her warmer than I think is necessary and have peace.
The rest of the day has been better. I've spent more time playing with Maddie. She's very fussy today and so I thought it might help if we spent more time together. I think it has. The toughest days are when she keeps fussing and I can't figure out how to help her. Is she hungry? No, won't eat. Is she thirsty? Maybe but keeps fussing. Does she just want to be held? But how do I get other stuff done?
I had to smack her hand today because she kept playing with a lamp cord. Phil and I had originally said we wouldn't hit to punish. But now we can't see any other way to get her to stop doing something that could really hurt her ( like biting through an electric cord). So I had to smack her little hand today. She waved her hands like she wanted to smack me back. Was that for real? Could she already comprehend hitting to stop something? So that made me feel bad.
We're going to Terri's house for supper tonight. I'm looking forward to the change of pace. Mandy (former student who know goes to college here) is coming over tomorrow afternoon and staying for supper. That should be fun.
Enough for now.