sore thumb

I started back with a Chinese tutor yesterday morning. 3 hours, 9-12pm. It was great. I've been such a slacker in finding the time and energy to study and for whatever reason I've gotten motivated recently. I knew I needed to just do it and it needed to be done all in one shot. 3 hours is a long time to stare at your teacher, or Chinese characters or talk only in Chinese. I'll meet with her every Wednesday morning. We meet at a bakery, Leanna's Bakery. So, it's a nice place to meet and I get a good lunch out of it. As I'm writing, a funeral tent is being taken down. I can't see it from where I sit but I can hear all the metal poles hitting the cement. They started the process before 6am. The tent went up in our apartment courtyard at the beginning of this week. It was a long rectangular shaped structure made out of poles and tarp. I never peeked inside but I guess the body was in there and there were folks hanging out with it 24 hours a day. Th...

So it's been nice weather here in Cd. We still aren't seeing the sun much but we keep having these clear, gray sky days. I love being able to see the sky even if it's gray clouds. And almost everyday or night we're getting rain. And it's cool, in the 60s and 70s. It's great. Last week and this week I started looking at kindergarten's for Madeleine. There are 3 within close walking distance of our home. 2 are already full for the fall (maxed at 50 students per classroom) and one is already at max or close to it but they are willing to register Maddie. The other 2 wouldn't even let us in the gate to look around the school. One won't even let us talk to a teacher, it's just the guard we get all our information from. It's very frustrating. HePing (peace) Kindergarten is the one we've looked at and it's an older school. The headmaster was happy to have us visit, happy to accommodate our wishes (half day is what we want rather t...

Here we are back in Chengdu. There is no sky. There's no definition to it. No clouds, no sun, nothing. It's just a low grey. So, I just hold out hope that this too shall pass. Madeleine and I are both stuck at a 4am wake up call. Phil and Lily seem totally adjusted to the time zone change. Madeleine was so wide awake this morning. She just talked and talked to me at around 5:15am. If she wasn't so cute and cheerful (and I was also wide awake) I would have been annoyed with her non-stop monologue about taxi drivers, cavities, all-night movie watching, jet-lag and delicious bread. I wish I could just blow all this smog away and look forward to a blue skied, spring, Saturday. Instead, I'm trying not to get too negative and dwell completely in my Lord. Sighhhh, this is hard.

There's a shop called Daily Grind in New Philadelphia, OH. I like it so much. I've been there twice and yesterday was one of them. I had lunch (which was delicious) and read a Grisham that I'm really enjoying (Painted House). The coffee is good and the food great but what I might like best is the clientèle. There was a chubby mom in a low-cut shirt with her chubby baby and her grandmother who both ordered sandwiches, ice cream and diet Pepsi. A white farmer with a John Deere hat and a black business man shared a table and ate Tomato Basil Bisque. A table of well-dressed middle aged white ladies sat around a large formica table laughing, eating and drinking espresso. Three college aged people drank cup after cup and finally switched to ice water. My favorite was a large white man in bib overalls who walked with a limp, carried a hardback Grisham and told me he couldn't put it down. That's what a coffee shop should be like. If you like coffee, good food or a...

Every evening now for over a week around 10 pm, I heat up a heat packet in the microwave. Then I sit and watch the end of a show - House Hunters, Property Virgins, Holmes on Homes, Man vs Wild- with the packet on one of 7 spots of my body. Tonight it was on my left thigh, outer side. The packet heats up my skin and gets it ready for my shot. After about 5 minutes of sitting, I say, "Phil are you ready?" He says, "Yes" gets up and gets my autoject bag and sharps container. We head downstairs to our bedroom. Sometimes we forget the icepack in the freezer so Phil runs back up and gets that and wraps it in a kitchen towel. I lie on the bed while Phil loads the syringe filled with medicine in to the autoject . One of us cleans my skin with an alcohol square that came with my syringes. We let it dry. We both agree on the spot to inject and then Phil says, "Ready?". I look away and "click", I've been shot. I'm usually the one who pick...

I'm sitting on the back porch this morning. It's about 60F and the sun rising on my right has been lovely. Birds are having a hay day with this morning and I'm feeling it too. It's at this moment that I feel dread about returning to Chengdu. Uhgg. In my mind and in my heart, China is what I call home. It seems like it should be because that's where my bed is and most of my clothes. That's where I spend most of my time. It's the currency that I've been converting US dollars in to while here to figure out money's true value. It's where Phil and I have spent the majority of our married lives. It's where Lily was born. But as I sit here this morning and as we played at the park yesterday I felt and I feel like this is home. This is where I understand small talk and where everyone knows that apple pie is something to smile about. I don't have to explain why the smell of someone grilling makes people feel content and happy. This is...

There are certain foods that sound so amazingly good to one person and horribly nasty to another. I am blessed to be a person that feels affection well up in her heart when I think about biscuits and gravy, especially from Cracker Barrel. And this morning I'm going there with Phil. Just Phil. :-) Today is the 29th, it's the day we were to be flying back to Chengdu. If that were still true today we'd already be at the airport in Cleveland and boarding for our flight to Newark. I'm glad that I'm still sitting here in Dover with plans for the week.

I am so glad that I'm saved. I love having a Savior that gets me. A Savior that holds me and carries me and walks with me and cheers for me. A Savior that doesn't care that I'm weak and tired and so inclined to doubt but instead he gets excited in my weakness because then he can be best understood. I also love that he doesn't want me to be weak. So he gives me strength. I remember the first time Phil told me that he loved me. I felt shocked and astounded. That this guy that I thought was so awesome, loved me. And he told me! He didn't have to. He just couldn't help it. He loved me so much that he just had to let me know. And then there's my Savior. Jesus. He loves me. He loves me so much that he just had to tell me. He didn't have to love me but he does and he told me. He told me this morning, too. He keeps telling me over and over how much he loves me. Jesus loves me. I'm astounded.

Yes, I'm sitting in Dad and Mom Steiner's house this morning. It is so nice. I love looking out at the neighborhood behnind the house. I love hearing some birds tweeting happily as the sun comes up. I love having Maddie lying on the floor watching cartoons. I just love knowing that we're here. I love that we're going out for breakfast and then doing some shopping at Dutch Valley store. Yesterday we shopped all day. I had forgotten how wonderful thrift stores are. In fact, I know that I have a whole new appreciation for them now that I haven't had one anywhere near for almost 4 years. Honestly, why would you shop anywhere else? I got almost everything I had on my need list from a Salvation Army and a Goodwill. Ok, you probably aren't going to be impressed because you may not know the horror of shopping for hours in an itty-bitty sized jeans world (aka Asia) and only leaving with the impression that your butt can't even fit in an XXL pair of sweats but I got 2...

I really can't remember the last time I was the only one up at 7:27am. This is so rare and such a treat...I barely know what to do. I was even able to make coffee without waking Maddie. Oh, Merry Christmas to me! I L-O-V-E our xmas tree. I love every tree we have every year and I feel the same this year. Ours is fake, of course (being in this country), but it's a good fake. And I'm just so glad we had the insight to bring along all our precious ornaments from over the years. We've had more xmas in other lands than we have in America so it makes sense that we'd take ornaments along with us rather than making them stay behind in our hometown. But that's not always one of those things you think of at the time when you're packing up all that is precious to you. Maddie and Phil went xmas shopping for me yesterday. Maddie is surprisingly good at not sharing secrets. I asked her yesterday something related to her time out with Phil and her reply was,...

This morning I spent a wonderful time in my itty bitty kitchen with my little girls. We (I) made 2 pumpkin pies while they snacked on popcorn and cracker sticks. It's not often that I find cooking with 2 little ones underfoot wonderful. But this morning before tackling the job I had pryed for strength, patience and for an understanding that my job is one of the most precious ever. I also knew I had pretty much all day to get 2 pies made so there was no time pressure. This year I already feel in the Christmas spirit. There have been plenty of times in my life (adult life) that I didn't "feel" it. I was glad for it but I didn't have that cozy, let's make cookies and crafts, then snuggle on the floor under a blanket and watch It's a Wonderful Life feeling. Today is Thanksgiving. We'll celebrate it with turkey and all the trimmings tomorrow. I'm thankful for: Having all the spices I need for making multiple pumpkin pies. An oven that fits a 12 l...

Phil is coming home today! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This morning I canceled a doctor's appointment (who needs immunizations anyway?) so that Mom and I could take full advantage of the nanny and could enjoy a morning at IKEA. Mom's flying out tonight and we won't have another chance to just hang out the 2 of us before they fly to the States for the holidays. Our first stop was at the IKEA restaurant for coffee and a danish. The store was pretty empty so it was really nice just wondering around. Mom bought Maddie's bday gift - a wooden baby bed for her favorite doll. Then we finished it off with a hotdog and flat coke. The weather it typical here today. Rainy and cool. Both girls are snoozing and since I had 2 cups of coffee, I am not.

I do not think being 32 years old is old but since October 11th, I have had problems with my eyesight, fallen off a stool and hurt that area of your body that has lots of extra cushion and that you use every day to sit on, and gotten a really bad cold that I just can't shake. So it does seem like all of a sudden my body is realizing it's been around for 32 years +. Mom has been here for the past few days which is a HUGE blessing because I've been sick and Phil is out of town. He and Dad went on a trip together. Mom does the dishes, makes potato soup, reads tons and tons of books to the girls, takes them outside and makes sure I'm resting. Pretty much a perfect mom. Phil and I reading a book called, "How to Really Love Your Child". It's good. I recommend it, even if you think you already are really loving your child. It doesn't make me feel like a bad, unloving parent, it just helps me(us) learn ways to show the girls that we love them unconditio...

We got home from a trip to Wuhan last night. Phil and I had some meetings to attend. This morning we all slept until 8am. Wow. Well, to clarify, Madeleine and I both slept till 8, the other 2 are still asleep. I've decided that Saturday mornings can be "cartoon" mornings for Maddie. We don't have cartoons that she can watch on Chinese TV so she can watch multiple episodes of Dora, Blue's Clues or something like that. I wish we had cartoons . That would be fun. This morning is gray and a tiny bit cool. I'd love it to be totally fall like but we're not there yet. Lots of folks are already wearing long sleeves - mostly the elderly - and so we must have had cool weather while we were away. Once cold weather comes, even just for a couple days, the elderly and kids are often seen in long sleeves until fall and winter are completely over - meaning until around May 1st. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for the nanny that we've met. She's...

May 1st was my last post. I don't remember for sure when blogger got blocked but it must have been sometime in May. It's still blocked but God bless the men and women who create proxy sites. However, it usually doesn't take long for good proxy sites - like the one I'm using to post right now- to get blocked. Then you have to take the time to search for other proxies and use them until they are blocked. Beat the system, baby. So this Sat morning I'm on my lovely porch. It's off of our bedroom and looks down in to the garden of our complex. Our new complex is nothing like the old one in Xi'an but it is still nice and since we're on the 4 th fl I have lots of green to look at plus some old buildings with character. If you know much about this country you'll know that they aren't much in to restoring and keeping up the old stuff. It usually gets torn down and replaced with tile covered high rises or shiny new office buildings. So when you ...

That's not Chinese in my title just a little happy song bopping through my head as I think about being done with language school. Yesterday was it.  The last day.  No more schedules to figure out every semester.  No more wondering which teacher I'll get.  No more.   Formal study may be over but learning Chinese is not.  This morning for some odd reason I thought about something catching on fire and I thought, 'I don't remember how to say that in Chinese'.  So, after 2 years of study I'd have to call the fire department and say something like, 'Fire is on my room.  I mean, fire is in my house.  Do you understand?'. I took 2 test on Wednesday.  I have to say that I am very proud of my Chinese character recognition in The Book.  There were a few passages that I had to read where I knew every single character and didn't even hesitate while reading.  I don't think I can describe how amazing that feels.  I LOVE reading the passage in John when Jesus a...

This is perfect.  My husband and eldest daughter are asleep in the living room with an F1 race on. My baby is asleep in her room.  I've had time to sort through my entire wardrobe and pull out the stuff I never wear.  I just finished looking up recipes for Yorkshire pudding, roast beef and pie crust.  I've had a cup of tea.  Plus I had a nap earlier. For some reason my mother-in-law's pie crust recipe sometimes works well and sometimes makes me want to throw the messy, crumbly dough out our 8t h floor window.  So, I've decided that I will find the perfect crust.  It's going to take a lot of sacrifice on our part as we eat my attempts. Some Canadian friends ate Yorkshire pudding at their Easter meal.  It was the one dish my friend mentioned when I asked how their lunch went (I knew they were having a BIG group over).  So, I figured it must be pretty great.  I'm going to try it.  From what I've read I think it should be called Yorkshire bread. Yorkshire pud...

*Disclaimer* - The following may not be amazing at all. Lilian can blow her nose.  Hold a tissue to her nose, say "blow" and she blows her nose.  She's 10 months old.  I'm sorry, but that is amazing. Lilian answers questions by shaking her head "yes" or "no".  For example, "Do you want more to drink?"  followed by her head shaking "no". Lilian knows exactly what she is not allowed to touch.  As she approaches the forbidden object she starts shaking her head "no". She waves goodbye and hello. She puts objects to her ear, pretends it's a cell phone and says, "hi." Phil once heard her say, "All done!" Madeleine can tell you the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead.  She knew it after hearing it one time.  She can also tell you about Jesus' ressurection but Lazarus sometimes ends up in there too. She is 3 years old and 5 months. She gets up every morning around 5:30am, goes to the bathroo...

This morning feels so fresh.  Apparently, we had rain last night and the air is cool and clean now. I would love to be on a farm doing the morning chores and then coming in to a big country style breakfast.  With biscuits and gravy, of course.   I have two never wavering dreams for my life - one, have a small farm with goats, chickens, sheep and a dairy cow or two. Two - buy a house on a lake (ideally in the NE or NW of the US) that is used several times a year for family gatherings.  I want us to be the great, great, great grandparents that the house was originally bought by and has been in the family forever.   There were lots of people out this morning exercising .  One lady was doing the breaststroke as she walked.  I can never get the video going quick enough to catch these precious moments of inhibition .   Exercise is one thing our neighbors do really well.  I watched a lady in her late 50s early 60s doing kicks and bends the other day that I haven't been able to do sin...

I have a new found happiness.  It's odd.  I have discovered how great Saturday mornings are for having friends over for breakfast.  It is actually the perfect time and day to entertain.   Over the last 2 months we have either had friends over or been to a friend's house 3 times for a weekend breakfast.  So, I'm really quite experienced on the whole weekend morning entertaining. It's perfect because most people are in a good mood on Saturday mornings.  You're pretty rested. It's not like when you have friends over for dinner and you're already tired from the day but you still need to straighten the house, nurse the baby and make dinner.  Breakfast is a simple straight forward meal.  Children are rested and ready to eat and play. Because the children are rested and then full, they are happy to play with their little friends and the adults have time to drink a second cup of coffee and chat around the table.  No one feels rushed to get the kids home and bathed a...